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Definition of a Snobster – Hipsterism

Ahhh. It’s so refreshing to see a new level of Snobby Hipsters coming into their own in Spokane. If you can’t zoom in the sign reads:

Please, Do not disturb Roaster. Certain points in the roasting process demand complete concentration.

Yeah, like when you’re labeling the small amounts of coffee that you actually sell. That’s pretty demanding, so much so your hipster followers can’t say hi?

How to be a Snobster Hipster

How to be a snobster

 

There’s so many funny things about this shop:

  1. Most the coffee you drink isn’t roasted with that little thing.
  2. They’re really into coffee, but if you go in for coffee at 10 AM they’ll be serving 4 hour old coffee. And worse yet, if you go in at 1 PM they’ll serve you 6 hour plus old coffee and tell you they have really amazing coffee pots that hold the heat. On what planet is 6 hour old coffee even worth serving in Spokane? We’re better than this as a community.
  3. If you don’t want to be disturbed, don’t put your tiny coffee roaster you barely use at the front door and make everyone stand by it so it looks like you’re really cool, and you’re so cool, you won’t talk to someone.
  4. It’s a great coffee shop and although they serve old coffee, one of our better coffee shops in Spokane.

What is the definition of a Snobster?

A Snobster is a special lesser known variety of a hipster. The Snobster can often be found sporting flannel, a beard, tight dark jeans, similar to a regular hipster, but the snobster difference is that the snobster will act like something he is not. Where a true hipster wears flannel that he found at the general store or a second hand store because he is cold since he is broke from spending too much money on good food, a snobster found the flannel at Kohls or the new Carhartt store downtown that doesn’t sell authentic work wear and has no idea what it feels like to be cold. The snobster will act like he got the flannel at the General Store, but indeed he found it at the Northtown mall while sneaking in a Subway Sandwich.

Now this poor fellow is simply following his leadership. He probably did not make this sign nor has he even read it in awhile. But true legitimate snobsterism is putting a tiny coffee roaster at your front door and putting up a sign saying don’t talk to me. That’s how freaking cool I am.

Is the Snobster the next trend in Hipsterism you ask?

No! Absolutely not. As an investigative journalist in Spokane Washington at the forefront of Hipster observations, we can definitely say that Broski Hipsters are the next movement; otherwise known as a Broster.

What is a Broski Hipster or Broster?

A Broski Hipster is a Hipster that wears jeans that cost more than $150 and combines skateboarding style with Hipster style. A Broster can often be spotted with tattoo sleeved arms, a leather wallet that was close to 100 bucks, Japanese Made Jeans, a skateboard shirt that is of a brand they’ve never used, really nicely cut hair, and they smell good. A Broski absolutely does not think BO is acceptable. In fact, the Broster probably spends more money on smelling good than any one you’ve ever met.

The Broski Hipster movement is a full blown raging trend here in Spokane. Dudes that don’t enjoy the outdoors, work too much and have families to where they can’t really do all the outdoor things Spokane has to offer, and they just can’t fit it at a traditional barber shop no matter how many times they try. I know poor us. It’s hard to relate to cops targeting us because of our skin color. We just don’t have the same kind of life problems… or acting like we really care about the NBA or professional sports. Life’s hard being one of the 97% white males in Spokane. The Broster enjoys good food but doesn’t enjoy the Hipster or Snobster attitude. The Broster was created right here in Spokane. It will come to a city near you soon. The Broster headquarters can be found on North Monroe Street… You know where. Just take a walk and you’ll find them.

How to spot a Broster?

If you notice someone that looks like a hipster, they aren’t snobby like a snobster, they don’t smell bad, and you feel confused about who you are looking at, it might be a Broski Hipster. At first you think they’re in a rock band, then you think they’re tattoo artists, then you think they are motorcycle people, are they construction workers that are dressed well?, are they coffee baristas?, are they graphic designers?, you’re just confused at what this person is… When you get up close, you realize they use beard oil and they just freaking work at some office in town and are a nice person. That’s a Broski Hipster. The middle class white guy that doesn’t qualify for much of anything and now has a home and an identity as a Broster.

You’ll find one soon. It’s the latest evolution of the hipster species.

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